Yesterday, Susan,my oldest friend and colleague, came over and helped me get 12 file drawers of charts into the shredding bins, and sort out the rest left over. It was a marathon, and I never would have been able to do it by myself. But there was more to get shredded. Old office admin files, copies of scripts, unused sensitive materials of all sorts. I needed to call for more bins.
I had put off even going to the office, it was so overwhelming. Having Susan spur me on got me past the reluctance. While we were working, my friend reminded me of the favors I had done her in the past, so I felt a little less guilty taking her memorial day holiday, and better about myself. It sounded like so much when she told it, but felt like so little when I did it. And I guess that’s what it was. Easy for me to give, and valuable to her.
However, last night I awoke in the early hours feeling very much ill at ease about how I was going to accomplish the rest of sorting and packing of the office. It is what I call the middle of the project panic. Always happens in a big project. You get to a point where you see the whole project, and where you have come so far, and how far you have yet to go. It for me is always a difficult day (or two). Over the years I have learned that the best way to get past it is to get up and get moving, so I did that. I cleaned out the shelves and drawers, changed my address with USPS, stopped the papers. Then I was able to get a few more hours sleep.
The list of things to do is still long, but I remind myself; I made this schedule; I can change it if need be. The schedule is a goal, not a demand. I am trying to get things sorted for the packers who come Saturday and Sunday. I can have them come different times or days, if I am not ready, or I can put them to work on what I have sorted, while I continue to sort. It’s all flexible. So I kept my hair appointment today. And I feel so much better. My hair looks great, and I feel good. Women. We are so easy to please. That’s the other piece of the panic. There are other appointments I need to keep. Things like doctor appointments, picking up donations.